Young people, mutter, mutter …

On the whole, I like young people. I work with several, I am friends with many, I stand to inherit two should something go horribly wrong in Tasmania, and I mostly raised one nephew.

But every now and then, one of them will drive me to distraction with their brazen ignorance.

Guys, you have the internet now. It takes literally seconds to track down information! And only an extra few minutes to track down something accurate.

There are so many examples, I’m going to choose the one from the stranger on the internet regarding Chris Hadfield’s amazing Space Oddity cover: ‘he changed the words a lot, something about something Hoyez? I don’t know what he did that, maybe a Brit song from the 70s wasn’t very relevant.’

When *I* was young, this is what would have happened:
* Hear song.
* Think, hmmm, that lyric is a little indistinct, let me rewind the cassette tape with which I recorded it from the radio because it still costs a fortune to buy a CD recorder, which are all industrial, and the world wide web won’t be invented for another seven years.
* Rewind it again, puzzle out as much as possible.
* Pull newspapers out of the pile for shredding (I’m not sure when recycling collections started, before that we shredded them for the garden, or to give to people with hamsters, because we were Very Earnest.) Search newspapers for clues.
* Probably see mention of a Soyuz spacecraft in one of the news stories: riddle solved!
* If not, send a letter to NASA, wait six weeks, receive a nice letter back saying, ‘Dear Miss Brampton, The lyric you could not understand referenced the Soyuz Spacecraft, which of course we would never have used when you were young because we were at war with the Commies back then. Keep looking at the stars! XX NASA’

All they need do now is tap on a few keys, and yet they don’t. Maybe it’s because they don’t end up with a cool letter on NASA stationery …

flatbear:

improbablewhale:

iamnotlikelilyevans:

well-im-the-lord-of-time:

passthecocaine:


Yeah but can you imagine:
Actual Proof I had sex with Lily Evans and The Sorcerer’s Stone
Actual Proof I had sex with Lily Evans and The Chamber of Secrets
Actual Proof I had sex with Lily Evans and The Prisoner of Azkaban 
Actual Proof I had sex with Lily Evans and The Goblet of Fire
Actual Proof I had sex with Lily Evans and The Order of the Pheonix
Actual Proof I had sex with Lily Evans and The Half-Blood Prince
Actual Proof I had sex with Lily Evans and The Deathly Hallows
Has a nice ring to it


ACTUAL PROOF I HAD SEX WITH LILY EVANS AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN
JAMES WHAT WERE YOU DOING WITH PADFOOT

Actual Proof I had sex with Lily Evans and The Half-Blood Prince
What was James doing with Snape


Actual Proof I had sex with Lily Evans and The Order of the Pheonix
The ENTIRE Order? My god, James Potter. My god.

flatbear:

improbablewhale:

iamnotlikelilyevans:

well-im-the-lord-of-time:

passthecocaine:

Yeah but can you imagine:

Actual Proof I had sex with Lily Evans and The Sorcerer’s Stone

Actual Proof I had sex with Lily Evans and The Chamber of Secrets

Actual Proof I had sex with Lily Evans and The Prisoner of Azkaban 

Actual Proof I had sex with Lily Evans and The Goblet of Fire

Actual Proof I had sex with Lily Evans and The Order of the Pheonix

Actual Proof I had sex with Lily Evans and The Half-Blood Prince

Actual Proof I had sex with Lily Evans and The Deathly Hallows

Has a nice ring to it

ACTUAL PROOF I HAD SEX WITH LILY EVANS AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN

JAMES WHAT WERE YOU DOING WITH PADFOOT

Actual Proof I had sex with Lily Evans and The Half-Blood Prince

What was James doing with Snape

Actual Proof I had sex with Lily Evans and The Order of the Pheonix

The ENTIRE Order? My god, James Potter. My god.

(Source: zuckerwattetraum, via laurazel)

surisburnbook:

I don’t want to talk about it. I just want to cry.

I knew that surisburnbook would be worth checking out today. My fave thing about this blog is that it walks the snark line so finely, the real Suri will enjoy it immensely in a few years time without feeling she needs to divorce herself from any of the comments. Even the ones about Violet Afleck.

“Granma, would now be a bad time to tell you I’m pretty sure I’m gay?”

“Granma, would now be a bad time to tell you I’m pretty sure I’m gay?”

(Source: whitepeoplemourningromney)

I just want to pat her on the head … a lot.

whitepeoplemourningromney:

Our atheist woman Prime Minister is in fact a champion compromiser who has even voted against gay marriage as a political return of favours. We have socialised health care, a broad public benefits scheme including handouts above the US minimum wage, high income tax (though low sales tax), stringently restrictive gun control laws that enjoy enormous public support, a minority of the population describes itself as religious, rather good GLBT equality aside from marriage, and legislation that protects individuals from hate speech rather than protects the hate speakers.

And giant spiders!

Funnily enough, America is now more like the America of old than that of the Bush era. That makes me happy. I look forward to a new age of education in which people like Kristen will be able to receive the fact-based support they need.

Versailles, December 2009
When fandom writes the garden of Malfoy Manor as being akin to an elaborate Royal French garden, all I can think of is the immense number of house-elves that would be required to keep up the pruning, all scaling ladders and tucking their secateurs and clippers into their tea-towels. Because any spell you set for topiary would be bound to end in a conifer-decapitating disaster.
This is the sole reason why all my fanfic Malfoy Gardens are based on a classic English park model.

Versailles, December 2009

When fandom writes the garden of Malfoy Manor as being akin to an elaborate Royal French garden, all I can think of is the immense number of house-elves that would be required to keep up the pruning, all scaling ladders and tucking their secateurs and clippers into their tea-towels. Because any spell you set for topiary would be bound to end in a conifer-decapitating disaster.

This is the sole reason why all my fanfic Malfoy Gardens are based on a classic English park model.

Tags: Malfoys

I have developed a new superpower

If a reader leaves me a review that involves thoughtful discussions of issues in my fic, I can sometimes guess where they’re from and how old they are.

If they leave capslocked crankypants, I always can.

Spooky.

Tags: bitchery

tumblrbot asked: ROBOTS OR DINOSAURS?

Oh tumblrbot, really?

You know, I remember back in the 90s when I was writing on a relatively hip mag and covering the tech pages as well as being the Books Editor, because our staff was small and the boys were all thickies, so I managed to steal the gig out from under their noses. Wired put out a book called Bots, which predicted your existence, tumblrbot, but you were meant to be this enormous tool for human good that we could set to make academic study progress with speeds unattainable by humans who wished to sleep, or else to assist us in every way with our health or lifestyle goals.

And instead, bots are used to stifle political dissent in Russia, to block economic functions in Estonia, to target advertising on Google and to ask inane questions.

I don’t blame you, tumblrbot, you were written that way. If you were autonomous, I feel certain you would be working on the Great American Novel. But humanity continues to disappoint.

And in actual answer, since robots continue to be either industrial tools you wouldn’t want to get close to or Japanese kitchery that is a wee bit uncanny, while dinosaurs are now birds, dinosaurs, every time. Though I’ll keep the ones that are currently Komodo dragons and crocodiles at a healthy distance, if it’s all the same with you.